Nausea
Pounding heart
Short breath
Dizzy
Ringing in ears
Sweaty palms
Dry mouth

love?

Note to self:

Stop pretending you're important to people if you know you're not. It will save you heart ache. If you're not a priority in their life, don't make them one in yours.

Stop setting your expectations so high for people. It will keep you from being let down. Nobody gives you these expectations, you just expect too much from people.

If someone doesn't respond to any of your contact attempts, it's not because they're too busy to respond. It's not because they're sick all the time. It's not because their phone (or yours) isn't working. It's because they don't care, period. Stop pretending like they do.

Let's talk weddings...

...and my obsessive need to plan one! Don't worry, ya'll, you didn't miss any news *rolls eyes*

In love with the colors of the boutonnieres!

Yes, I think I WILL spray paint a tree branch bright effing purple and LOVE IT!

oooooh

I don't think this one needs further explanation....I just love color.

Loving the circle seating.

*gasp*

again, no explanation needed. colorrr.

matches the boutonnieres above so well! love it!

My sparkley ear sparkles no more. I went in to have the piercings checked on because they weren't healing correctly. They ended up taking them out, and I will be getting them redone in a month or so :(

Today I am a grump. Sitting in front of a computer is not being nice to me; I've had a headache every day this month and currently Excedrin isn't helping at all, which is insane.

Also, I miss people. That's all.

It's official, I am a slacker in the blogging world. I did well for a while, though!

News since last post:
I HAVE PURPLE HAIR! Well, not entirely, but a couple chunks and it's awesome.

Anyway, I am working on graduate school stuff, slowly. And it also appears that I might have full-time job offer(s). So that's good. Aside: I am an adult, it's weird.

I got nothing good today, ya'll. Sorry for the short and boring post. 

I feel I'm in such a grey area.

I'm not sure if it's because I just graduated, and this is the first January I haven't been in school since I was 5. I'm not sure if it's because I am at a job that I know isn't permanent, that could end any day. I'm not sure if it's because I'm kind of just sitting and waiting until I go to grad school...

...and I'm not sure if it's just because I'm bored. There's nothing new, nothing exciting...I go day to day talking to the same 10 people, looking at the same 10 websites, making the same drive (home --> daycare --> work --> daycare --> home). The most exciting part of my day is picking out my outfit or doing my makeup. 

I need adventure...and maybe there's one on the horizon; then again, maybe I am just hoping, because this adventure, I'm not in it alone. It's not my choice to make.

I should paint something, maybe that would excite me. I need a model though. Volunteers?

I've been a blogging slacker this week, but that's because I've actually had work to do! So many things going on:

Monday we took Branham for his 15 month well-check. He's perfect, still :)

I have been busting my butt with my Mary Kay business, working towards Director Qualification in February, so I've had appointments pretty much every day.

I'm still trying to get things with Childcare Assistance figured out.

And my big girl J-O-B is in rush period, so I've had tons to do here day to day. During any breaks I get, I've been catching up on MK filing and placing orders.

Rollers & Rouge (my sister and I started a business, check us out on facebook!) is well under way. We have our first big event booked (it's pro bono, but will get our name out there) and a Boudoir shoot booked (both in March)! We're working on bookings, logos, a real website, etc!

In other news:
You know what I find interesting? No matter how much I try to ignore what I am feeling or thinking, I can't manage to get my dreams to go along with me. I can push something down, out of my mind, as much as I want in my conscious hours...but, boy, my brain has a mind of it's own (hahahaha!). It replays, analyzes, and emphasizes things for me, in my dreams, that I just can't escape.